Who the Heck is Pujols?

I don’t get it, have I been in a coma the past few years or just too old timey? Who is this guy Albert Pujols? I keep hearing about how he is one of the greatest hitters, yet he’s only been in the league for a few years. Personally, I do think he is a good hitter, defender, and seems like a swell guy, but he is no Bambino. That simple. The Babe. Need I say more? The best player in baseball history, hands down. Hell, he had a dadgum curse named after him that lucky bastard. Who else can say that? He was traded to help payoff a friggin’ Broadway play that never went anywhere. He was one of the best pitchers of his time before he started playing the outfield. Then he became the best hitter of all time. He would point out is own shots, although I personally like to think he was pointing at me since I was in the “bleacher bum” that day. He may not have had a great speech like his buddy Lou, but he has an enormous monument where he is buried. Pujols? Forget him! I don’t see him pitching to anyone. I don’t see him calling any homers. He was never traded for a Broadway play (good call on the part for St. Louis). But most importantly, I don’t see him downing a dozen hot dogs and a pint or two of booze before going to bat. Only the Babe was good enough to do that.

Big Deal, Move On

What’s the big ruckus over all the stuff that went on this past weekend? Some guy throws a no-hitter for the first time in the team’s history, the Mets and Cardinals play a twenty inning game, and the New York friggin’ Yankees are being compared to Jesus again. The no-hitter? Yeah, it was special and what not, but it was no as special as all those yutzes make it sound. To no hit a team means no one on the opposing team gets a hit. However, the pitcher walked six guys in the game! Congratulations on making it a risk for your team to lose. Now a perfect game is what is amazing. There have only been eighteen total perfect games. That’s right, eighteen, with a big fat 1 followed by an even larger 8. That is 27 men up, 27 men down, no one reaches base. Compare that to the 264 no hitters in baseball history. That averages to almost two no hitters per season. That equals out to about one perfect game every ten or eleven years. Pop quiz hot shot, what’s a more amazing feat, the no hitter or the twenty inning game? The correct answer is the twenty inning game. There have only been 42 games to ever go into twenty innings. Five of them ended in a tie. Even more amazing, or sad depending on how you look at it, both teams were scoreless for the first 18 innings. The no hitter? Pssh, I spit on that. The never ending game, it is more impressive, but went way past my bed time.

Opening Day

What’s the big idea with everyone making a huge deal of the first week of the season? Yeah, I know baseball has been gone since October, but it is only the first week of the season. Too many youngin’s are hyped up over a bad start by teams that played in the post season last year. Too many critics are yelling about how good players start in “slumps.” Most of all, even though it is exciting, the first game of the season needs to be tuned down a notch. I enjoy how they announce both teams as they line up on the foul lines, now that’s classy, but is an over sized flag really needed? Do you really need to get a flag that covers the entire outfield? The flag always hits the ground, which is never supposed to happen. So while you’re standing there in your thick, hot uniforms trying to be patriotic, YOU’RE NOT! Dadgum young people and you’re ways of “celebrating big occasions.” To me, it’s just another game. The excitement is there, but you’re interrupting my sleeping schedule with all those military planes flying overhead. Its bad enough I have to see all of you walking around and making the city streets congested, but now you spend boat loads of money just to see a plane fly over head. Here’s an idea for ya, GO TO AN AIR SHOW! Like I said before, you darn young people and your “hip” ways. Why don’t you stop spending my tax money and go get a job! There is no need for all that hoopla going on in my neighborhood.

The Ballpark Situation

Everyone complains now that there are too many home runs being hit. Granted the art of the homer still awes the crowd, but in certain situations, like the Yankees last year, they are hit too often to the point where you expect to see them rather than it being a spur the moment thing. Is it because of the hitters ability to see and hit the ball better? Is it possible that the pitchers may not be as good as the ones from the past? NO! It’s because the ballparks are too small now. Yes, they players work harder throughout the season and in the weight room, but it goes both ways. Both the hitters and the pitchers work harder and build muscle just about everyday in every year. The problem with the home run now is that it is easier to hit because they are in smaller parks. For instance, the fairly new Citizens Bank Park where the Phillies play is known as a hitters park since it is common to see a home run hit. The left field foul pole is 329 feet from home plate, right field at 330 feet, and the furthest distance from home plate is 409 feet, which is just left of center field. No look at the older parks, the historical parks, such as Ebbits Field where the Brooklyn Dodgers played, before those traitors moved to Los Angels. Not all measures are exact since the park was played in almost one hundred years ago. The original measures from 1913 are 419 to left field, right field at 301, and dead center field at a whopping 477 feet. This does not even include the 20 foot high walls. Yet, Citizens Bank Park has walls that are on average 10 feet tall, at points reaching 14 and change. So you tell me, why do people complain so much about so many home runs being hit when it is their own fault for making the pars so small?

Players and the Media

Not trying to disrespect anyone, but what is the problem with the players today? I’m talking about players such as Barry Bonds and Alex Rodriguez who repeatedly try to avoid questions and snap at the media. Why do they seem so angry when someone simply asks a question regarding how they played or the game itself? Even before and after the games players are less accessible than they used to be. At spring training games both in Florida and Arizona players are there to get ready for the season while giving the fans a chance to get close and personal with their idols. Sadly many players seem more interested in going home or going back to the home city rather than making a young child’s dreams come true by simply signing a baseball or a program. By all means I understand that they are busy and don’t even have to do anything other than play the game, but are you really too busy to scratch something on a souvenir for a child when its raining outside and they wait for hours after the game just to see you? Instead you decided to avoid them standing there by acting like you are talking on the phone. I can recall way back in the day when players such as Yogi Berra would go out of their way to make an appearance to the media and the fans. As a matter of fact, Berra may have gone much further than he needed to show his face. He constantly entertained his audience with his “Yogisms.” His memorable quotes such as “It’s not over til it’s over” and “it’s déjà vu all over again” were a spectacle for many. Sadly, players nowadays just try to avoid the cameras and microphones and fans for whatever reason they can think of.

The Yankees 10 year WS drought

It never really occurred to me until last October, but what was the whole deal with New York Yankees fans and all of them complaining about how they had not won a World Series since 2000, a total of ten years. The way I look at it is there are teams who have never even been to the World Series, let alone not be there in such a short time. Not to mention winning a total of 27. I can remember way back when I was a young tike and walking over to Wrigley Field to watch my beloved Cubbies play ball. I think I was maybe six or seven years old when I last saw them win it all against the Detroit Tigers. Of course my memory may be a tad bit fuzzy after all these years, but I do know for a fact that it was well over a hundred years ago! I just look at all those Yankee loving hoodlums and it makes me want to spat in their general direction. All the do is cry and moan about how those pinstriped bastards have not won anything of real importance in ten years. Hears something for all you kiddies to hear, Chicago has not even been to the World Series in 65 years! I say you all need to stop your complaining and man up to the fact that you have it much better than us older people. We used to listen to the games on the AM radio, not these new HQ TVs or whatever you call them. Ten years is nothing when you look at the overall picture!